#Trust30 Day 13 Surprise Yourself

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself.  How will you surprise yourself this week?

(Surprise by Ashley Ambirge)

As I grow older, I doubt myself more and more. And I trust my ability to overcome those doubts more and more. This is because all this is tested and tried. The paralysing fear of undertaking anything new, so much that I wonder, how to do this, why do this, the talk-myself-out-of-this… goes on, relentless in its hammering. And I still leap, leap, leap so hard and high in response that I do not allow myself to think further, and I do not, I say this again, fall flat on my face, as I have always thought I would. It is a good, hard, felt landing on my bottom, very confortably so. Despite these positive experiences, I fear anything new and untried all the time. And the call comes and I have to say yea or nay. And I accept. I accept and overcome the fear, prepare myself and head in.

This week I have to undertake a few more things to reinstate faith in myself  and my abilities. The battle is always to work out the fear that paralyses. The mind that thinks helps but it also unhelps. So the mind should not think beyond a point, for it becomes downhill, that thinking… and it ages you. So the uphill may be tedious but it is fortifying and gratifying, and that is the way the mind should work. But shoulds don’t work in real life, do they? So the mind can go its way, but despite it, I will take action and make the things I fear most be the ones I turn into reality. Beautiful, strengthening reality beyond the thinking mind.

The summits are waiting.


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