#Trust 30…day 19…Facing (and Fearing)



Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:

1) “What are the costs of inaction?” I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our “lizard brains” (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.

2) “What kind of person do I want to be?” I’ve found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.

3) “In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?” Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.

(Author: Dan Andrews)

 

This is so true and it is so good that something like this comes up just when I am trying to talk myself out of doing something because it means putting in the little bit of hard work required. Often, when I have to apply for something, all kinds of doubts crowd my mind…stemming from a fear of rejection, since a number of times such applications are rejected. I fail to count the times when I have received a yes. Also, I believe that I talk myself out of wanting something which I may really want to do, telling myself that it will not pan out. It stems from laziness and a sense of futility. The struggle to ‘get there’ requires effort, more so because I am no longer young, ambition and desire to achieve things which I want for myself has come to me late in life. I was busy for most part of my life attending to the needs of others and had made my needs not worth anything to me or to anyone else. So the struggle seems greater now, even though the desire is fervent. What I have to persuade myself to do is tell myself that I really want this, and then make myself take the required steps. Things usually work out good on the whole, but I often falter in the beginning. So it is the inertia that I have to overcome. Despite rejections, I have to keep applying and get that one very meaningful ‘aye ‘ from the many nays that were not meant to happen. ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained ‘is a cliched term, but so true in its message.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in The Emerson 30 day Trust Challenge. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to #Trust 30…day 19…Facing (and Fearing)

  1. michilantz says:

    Abha, the fear of rejection is a potent one. And it deals with our first chakra – where we fail to get a sense of individuality within our ‘tribe’ – and the third chakra which deals with our self esteem. I recognize this type of think pattern from myself and as I write I see that this RWE challenge has been a very good antidote for it. You ‘put’ yourself out there in a community and express your individuality. It’s awesome.

    Thank you for your honesty.
    🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s