I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”
(Author: Harley Schreiber)
This is very good. By eliminating all that you do not want in your life, or you do not wish to be, or you do not want to have as part of your life, you can identify those parts of your life that you really like, and retain them. And add also the parts that add to what you want to be, what you want to have, what and who moves you towards the person you want to be, the kind of life you want to live.
There was a time when I never wanted, I was just content. It could be that I had never become vocal about what I wanted, must have buried it deep within me. Even now, only some parts have surfaced, I have a long way to go in defining What I Want. There was always someone else I entrusted with defining what I wanted, our culture is like that, it tells women to leave decision making to the Indian gods, that is the men. If I sound bitter, it is because it is true. Girls are brought up to believe they have no minds of therir own. And wants? Wants are not for girls nor women, wants are for men. Since this is a touchy topic, I will stop here, for here I am not talking of myself, in various ways and in different degrees, girls are led to think so. Life is changing for girl children now, but only in some families, and women still have to struggle with ages and ages of upringing and break some invisible and many obvious shackles to say, “This is what I want.”
I want name, recogniton, respect, money, the works, not like a hero or film star, but in the sphere I am working in, and the love of those who know me for the individual I am and appreciate me for who I am. I want the company of friends who help me achieve my goals, who are supportive and caring. But then, don’t we all want this? But now I can say this out loud and clear and remove the negative people and surroundings from my life without batting an eye. I just move in places I am comfortable in, speak with those whom I know have my best interests at heart, will not listen to another’s no if I want to say a yes to what I want in my life. Of course, this has been a learning process, I did not learn this when young. I was polite and suffered negativity because of my politeness, I was also young, and put up with it out of respect. I often kept quiet, and that was my own fault (my nature being not aggressive)and that of my upbringing, (women should not be aggressive , that was so manly a form of being).”Seen , not heard, and when heard, only with sweetness in voice and look,” that was the ground rule. Now I can show a finger to this. Now.
I had to finally learn to say,“I don’t want this, and I want this!” It has been a freeing time, and I embrace all the positivity I receive in my life. And there is much of it, I have created the space for it.
To be a published novelist
To speak and counsel
To be healthy,vital and strong and unfettered.
To be independent
The company of my loved ones who understand my need for space
What I will say no to is: NEGATIVITY!